Twilight

Poster from HushGossip.com

On a side note: What is going on with the "g" in the title?? It's like it never ends...

Stars: 2 out of 5

Rating: PG-13

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I didn't actually even want to see this movie (I liked the book though, so Twilight fans please don't rip me apart) since, even though the trailer was quite appealing, I pretty much expected the worst out of it. But Robert Pattinson is pretty and I'm weak, so I ended up going with my friends anyway.

From the moment the lights dimmed I knew that it was going to be a bad night. I could hear the girl behind me hyperventilating. As the movie began, several excited fans shrieked involuntarily. The first time Edward Cullen (the vampire heartthrob himself) appeared on the screen, a collective swoon went through the audience.

I'm not saying I'm immune to his charms. I admit I could definitely watch Edward (and his perfectly styled hair) for a pretty long time, but after the third conversation he had with Bella, I decided that the camera rapidly switching back and forth between über zoomed-in faces
just wasn't worth the eye candy.

YAY FOR LISTS!

Other Problems I had with this movie:

1. Spider-monkey. No. Just no.
2. Edward driving past (his rival) Jacob. Both cars slow down as they pass each other and glare through their conveniently open windows. Cowboy duel music might as well have been playing.
3. So much white make-up for vampires that I saw black spots after the movie ended.
4. Edward looking like smeared glitter glue over half his face when he stepped out into the sun.

The movie did, however, score major points back with the scene in which Robert Pattinson wore Ray-Bans. :D

Overall message for those too lazy to read all of the above: If you don't really, really, really love Twilight, you'll hate the movie.

xoxo
-J